I could have written this very similar post like Kate at The Small Things Blog… And what is really ironic, I literally just scheduled a dental appointment days before reading Kate’s post. Confession, I’m not a fan of the dentist. At. All. Sure, a great man & friend of ours is a dentist up north. Sure, my dentist here is a super nice guy. And yes, I will play w/ scary powertools every chance I get. Dental appointments though? No thank you!
I’d like to blame it on an experience I had when I was in my early 20’s. I didn’t have braces until I was an adult, and during the time I had long hair. (I know, you’re asking, what is the relevance between braces & hair).. Give me a second to take a deep breath for the account that I am about to recall. It was extremely
dra traumatic. (at least this is what I’ll claim for not liking going to the dentist) Still w/ me?
So I went for a typical ortho adjustment, and while lying completely flat in the exam chair, w/ the orthodontist hovering over me, things were going along just fine. Until, it happened. “The” traumatic incident. The ortho is rather close to you as he does his work, rolled up on a stool, w/ your head, well, practically in his crotch. There, I said it. Now it’s out there.
After small talk & exchanging hello & how are you’s, he adjusted my braces. As he went to roll away on his stool, I felt pain. Nope, not in my mouth, but my scalp. My long hair was caught IN. HIS. PANTS BUTTON. O___O I let out an agonizing, “Gahhhhh!”… Frantically he tried to untangle my hair from his pants. All the while, the attending assistant couldn’t quite contain her laughter. Can you imagine watching this scene!? I mean, it would have to be rated NC-17 or worse! And can’t you picture the US Weekly headline? “Orthodontist CAUGHT in the act IN the office”… Eeek!
See? Traumatic, I tell you! It would have been great if that were the last of my ortho appointments, but, as “Bridgetisms” would have it, I was only in the middle of treatment, so I had many more appointments to go. Each time, the nurses giving me a little more smile than their typical “just greeting you hello” smile.. It was more like a “I’m smiling & dying laughing inside because you were STUCK in the ortho’s crotch” kind of smile.
Fast forward a decade, yes, I still dread going for any sort of dental work. You’d better believe I tuck my hair under my head obsessively though! No chance of this weave (not really a weave, just a descriptive for dramatic effect) getting caught again. No sir-ee.
I am off to the dentist today to have a crown replaced. I hate to admit that it actually broke off months ago, but I need time. You know, to come to terms that I would be in the dental chair once again. I hope to return w/ no story to tell. Just a normal appointment. Can a girl get that lucky? Wait, that came out wrong 😛 Onward & upward!..